Why are we so scared of change? The first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word change Is me doing something i don't like.
Tonight Was a scary night for me. I got faced with the fact that I need to CHANGE. That word can be stronger for some people more than others, for me it Is so strong that it brings tears to my eyes every time i think about it. While I'm writing this post I'm also trying to dig deep within me to figure out why.
I've never really pushed myself into doing anything really. My parents have always accepted me The way I am. I've always liked planning parties and cooking, I've always been told how creative i am. I guess I just always thought that was enough. It was enough to define who I am and I'm happy with that. But when you get married to someone thats completely and I really mean COMPLETELY different then you are, being creative and liking to cook sometimes just isn't enough. Tonight when I was asked to CHANGE I took it pretty bad. I know he wasn't asking me to do something bad, this change was for me too. No I'm not the healthiest person in the world or the skinniest, I don't have a models body and I'm sure as hell not as smart as Einstein was. But I'm not obese and I'm not dumb. Isn't that enough? Well I guess sometimes it isn't. What I was told yesterday is that I need to become "healthy and get in shape". Now I just felt as if he was trying to change ME, Camylla. When he kept telling me that he just wants to "improve" Camylla. Can change sometimes be good? Why am I having such a hard time agreeing to change? I guess the answer is...
I feel like I've given in so much, It's like what else do you want from me? I just feel like I'm not enough and he's just trying to change ME and making me become what HE wants me to be... But I'm happy with me...
I guess this is where Love comes in the story.
COULD THIS BE TRUE?
Theirs one song that has been in my mind all day long. And i just felt like sharing it with you guys.
Manifesto by The City Harmonic, see the video here.